The Importance of "ME" Time
Good Morning Everyone,
Today, I'm taking a small break from recipes, coffee, and all things that are travel to talk about the Importance of "ME" time. I know... you guys probably want to see coffee guides and recipes but there are moments where things like this come up.
Ever since the semester ended (and when Wendling & Boyd was gone in March-April) I've been in a huge funk. I can remember when 2017 started and I had no idea what the next chapter for WB was. It's interesting to see the evolution and dexterity of the human brain. Fun fact, I took a lot of psychology classes in community college and a lot of the information from those classes have stuck with me. From Pavlov to Freud, I've always loved the human psyche. But how does that relate to importance of me time? Well...There's a lot. No, there's no talk of the phalic stages of Freud but the intensity and deeper meanings of that can be tangible in the day to day. Anyways, I'm rambling...
When things go to hell, you have moments where the world flips, you see someone you love have a seizure in front of you, your parents come home extremely sick after their trip, there's a relative moment where you hide in your own shell (my zodiac is cancer, I use this term both lightly and heavy heartedly). I remember a couple weeks ago where when my parents came home sick and in thought of losing my Grandma... I yelled "I'm losing Grandma, and I'm not ready to lose you too". (My parents wouldn't go to Redi-Med, which is a place to get medicine without setting up an appointment). After that I stormed out of the house and cried all the way to my back to Grand Rapids. Yes, I'm an emotional man, and I fully thrive in that. I rather feel emotions than have them locked up inside. On my way back to Grand Rapids, I started to think about how all of these things were happening. I was "losing" Grandma, my parents were sick, Casey was studying for his exam, Grandma Wendling was laid up after a leg surgery, I was extremely sensitive to my body image, the blog wasn't deemed what I wanted to be, and money was a constant struggle. All of these things whirled around in my head and it almost caused me to have vertigo. I grabbed the steering wheel and continued on.
The entirety of memorial weekend, I was at my apartment in GR. With not knowing what Grandma Boyd's condition was, I didn't get the chance to go Up North to the lake house last weekend. With Memorial weekend being one of the most importance weekends in my year (one of the most nostalgic times of year) I was thrown out of whack. I was disengaged from everyone, hell, I didn't even get to travel. It was one of the weirdest weekends I've had in a long time. From wanting to go somewhere, to having no will to do it, It sent me in this weird state of anger and depression. I don't like to talk about these kind of things on the blog but sometimes they can be a reality. I'm not going to go deeply into it but there was a mixture of missing family, worrying about my life/how much I had into my bank account, seeing what others were doing, and having the wanderlust bug breathe down my throat it all threw me into a whacky sense of confusion. There was a moment where I realized that I need to take care of myself. Regardless the current events, the moments in time where I was lost, and the realities of looks and sexuality, I needed to sit down and to shut all things off and to just breathe. Last night I took a stand for myself and only myself. As a man who likes to take care of everyone that he loves, I needed to recede back and to let myself come first.
I'm currently writing this to you now at Ferris Coffee listening to music and all I can think of is how light I feel. I went to the gym this morning, showered, did a skin routine, and the main thing that I wanted to focus on was to be more intentful with Wendling & Boyd. I want to bring you guys more content. Helpful tips, styled shoots, even posts about what designs and periodicals that I'm really enjoying currently. I don't talk about design very much on here. As the barista and I raise our eyebrows to each other, I think I need to introduce more design like qualities to these posts. Not just food and coffee. I am a graphic designer after all. It is the life that I breathe.
Learn from my mistakes everyone. Please please let yourself be gentle. You're only one person. Regardless that you think you're an army, it's okay to be one person in the light filled corner of a coffee shop.