On Intimacy with Maude
So today, I want to talk about intimacy. As a cancer, I tend to feel deeply and am basically just a ball of empathy that runs around with a coffee cup in both hands. Intimacy is HUGE topic that I've studied when I was in community college. As a person who has an associates in general studies with a focus in psychology, I was intrigued by 3 things: color/art therapy, emotions and how the brain works, and finally intimacy. Let me interject for a hot second. I was raised catholic and we were taught to never speak of sex or talk about any kind of sexual relations in the church, with our family, and etc. Sex was only deemed a means of reproduction and having children. But Grandma and Grandpa Boyd deemed intimacy otherwise. No, they didn't flaunt their sex lives in front of us grand kids but they did show the love that they had for each other. Even with losing two daughters before they had my mother, they still continued to fight for their love and never went to bed angry at each other.
As a man who loves as much as I do, I dream of a love as deep as theirs. I dream of something that makes time stand still. There's this quote from Practical Magic that runs it's lyrical veins through my brain whenever I dream of intimacy. This movie being my favorite, it seems to be connected to love an intimacy throughout the entirety of the film: Love, passion, and heat.
"Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I had my happiness. I don't
want to believe it but, there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon."
As you all know, I've had a weightloss journey. Currently where I am with my body positivity, It fluctuates but I'm the smallest that I've ever been but intimacy seems to come and go. Throughout my life, I've only had one boyfriend, and if I remember, I had two girlfriends in my teenage years. Regardless that these relationships didn't last very long, it's odd to be leaving college behind and had hardly dated anyone. I'm not sitting on my pitty potty here saying that I'm desperate for anyone, It's just an oddity that I've noticed. But I digress. As a designer, I found out about Maude through instagram. Their packaging is stunning and their morals are something that a guy like me can appreciate. They focus on the betterment of people; which is something that I do as a designer. They sent me over a little kit for the future and I wanted to write this blog post featuring their beautiful products. It's kind of funny actually, people don't know this side of me but it's something that I keep off of social media. It's a part of all of us, because guess what guys. We're human...and that's okay !
- a better morning is coming